You’re Not Broken: Healing, Humanity, and Hope

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Hey everyone, welcome back to Unpack with Dr. Julie! I’m honestly excited for today, because we’re doing something a little different—giving you a sneak peek into my upcoming book, “You’re Not Broken—You’re Human.” I, uh, still get a bit nervous letting people peek behind the curtain, but it feels right to start here, right where so many of our stories begin: with the myth that if you struggle, you’re defective. You know those sneaky thoughts like “I should be handling life better by now,” or, probably my all-time favorite, “Something is wrong with me”? We all get stuck there at some point. And let’s face it, culture is really good at making us think there’s some finish line of togetherness that everyone else has crossed except, well… us. But what if none of that was true in the first place? I mean, what if those thoughts came more from, like, old survival strategies and the world’s noise than any fundamental flaw in you? I think about someone I met—let’s call her Anna—who spent so long hiding her anxiety, convinced it made her weak. But as we started unpacking, she realized every, and I mean every, coping tool she developed was a form of wisdom—her way of surviving chaos that she had zero control over. It wasn’t evidence she was broken, but proof she’d done whatever it took to stay afloat. I might be rambling, but that’s honestly the core idea I want to come back to in the book, and in this episode. You don’t need fixing. You’re just carrying a history of getting through, and that’s honestly something to be proud of, even if it doesn’t always look tidy. Okay, let’s see, where was I… yeah, so next, I want to dig into what’s actually happening under the surface when we talk about triggers and that famous nervous system of ours.

fbe99591

Alright, let’s get nerdy for a second—don’t worry, I promise it’s not textbook-boring. So, our nervous system: people talk about it like it’s this enemy causing drama in our lives, but honestly, it’s the most devoted protector you’ll ever have. Here’s the science-y bit. Triggers are just your body and brain’s way of screaming, “Hey, remember how we survived last time? Let’s do that again!” Which, okay, isn’t always helpful if you’re, say, avoiding a family dinner or panicking in a quiet office. But the point is, none of these reactions makes you broken. For some folks, and maybe you’ll recognize this, chaos feels safer than calm. Dr. Julie met someone years ago—details changed, obviously—who’d grown up in a house where “calm” meant the storm was about to hit. So, even as an adult, any peaceful moment triggered anxiety instead of relaxation. That’s not stupidity—it’s adaptive brilliance. Once she learned to make sense of those responses, instead of blaming herself for “overreacting,” it actually set her up for real healing. And, look, I’m not saying this is easy. But moving from “Why am I like this?” to “Wow, look how hard I tried to stay safe” is the first step. Building on what we’ve talked about in other episodes—remember when we dove into stress responses and why you can’t out-think anxiety with positive vibes? This all ties together. This wisdom isn’t about erasing your survival skills, but understanding where they came from, and why you get to decide what still serves you. Okay, before I veer off into a full-on neuroscience tangent, let’s start talking about moving out of survival and into some self-compassion and healing strategies—because that’s where things really start to soften.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

So, if you’ve made it this far, you’re probably wondering, “Julie, it all sounds nice, but how do I actually stop hating the parts of me that feel messy or scared or, I don’t know, imperfect?” First off, totally fair question. A significant focus of the book is methods to release shame associated with these survival strategies and reconnect with self-trust, courage, and compassion. And let’s be real, that’s where it gets tough—because, well, shame is sticky. Some of my favorite tools are simple reflection prompts—honestly, just questions to get you curious instead of critical. During my early workshops, I’d get feedback like, “I finally see why I freeze up in certain moments—and for once, I don’t feel ridiculous about it.” That’s huge. Storytelling, too—whether writing your own or reading others’—helps build a sense of safety inside, especially when you realize your journey isn’t as weird or alone as you thought. I’ll share something personal here: I’ve, uh, always had a strange relationship with perfectionism—probably not a huge shock to anyone who’s seen my color-coded spreadsheets. But I remember the first time I caught myself being gentle instead of ruthless with my inner critic. It wasn’t some magical transformation moment. It was small—just noticing, “Hey, you’re tired. You can try again tomorrow.” That, right there, felt like real progress. So as you go into your week, maybe play with the idea that softening your inner critic is actually way braver than pretending it doesn’t exist. And if you stumble, hey, that’s what humans do. We’re just here making sense of it together. Alright, that’s all for today’s sneak peek. Thanks for listening and letting me share a bit of the real behind the stories. There’s so much more to come, so stick around—your comeback story is just getting started.