You’re Not Broken: Your Nervous System Is Overloaded

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Welcome back to Unpack with Dr. Julie. I’m Dr. Julie Sorenson, and today we’re talking about something I think so many people are feeling, but not always saying out loud. That thought of, “I should be handling life better than this.” Or, “Why am I falling apart over things everyone else seems to manage?” [gentle pause] If that’s where you are, I want to start here: you are not broken.

Kai Mercer

Yeah. And I’m really glad we’re starting there, because so many people turn stress into an identity. Like, “I’m too much,” “I’m weak,” “I’m too sensitive.” When honestly... a lot of the time their system is just maxed out.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Exactly. Psychology gives us a much kinder and much more accurate reframe. Often what people call “being broken” is actually a nervous system responding to chronic stress. And that response is not a failure of character. It is your brain and body doing what they were designed to do: detect threat and try to protect you.

Kai Mercer

And the tricky part is, your brain doesn’t only react to the old-school danger stuff. It’s not just, you know, wild animals and storms. It also reacts to financial stress, job insecurity, conflict in relationships, social pressure, and the constant digital... everything.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Yes. Emails, notifications, headlines, social media, texts that feel loaded, deadlines that never quite end. The brain does not make a neat little distinction between “physical threat” and “psychological threat.” If something feels threatening, destabilizing, or relentless, your stress response can activate.

Kai Mercer

Which is why somebody can look fine from the outside and still feel internally like their whole dashboard is blinking red.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

That is such a good way to put it. And this isn’t just happening to a few people. Broadly speaking, current research points to really high levels of strain. The American Psychological Association’s Work in America survey in 2023 highlighted major work-related stress for many adults. The U.S. Surgeon General also warned in 2023 about loneliness and isolation as a serious public health concern. So if you’ve been feeling emotionally worn down, disconnected, or like your capacity is lower than it used to be, you are not imagining it.

Kai Mercer

And that matters, because when people think, “It’s just me,” shame moves in fast. Then they start hiding the struggle instead of understanding it.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Right. Shame says, “Something is wrong with me.” Compassion asks, “What has been happening around me, and what has my system been carrying?” That’s a very different conversation. And honestly, it opens the door to healing.

Kai Mercer

I’ve seen that shift change people almost immediately. Not because all their stress disappears, obviously, but because they stop fighting themselves on top of everything else.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Yes. And that inner fight can be exhausting. So if you take nothing else from this first part, let it be this: struggling in a high-pressure, overstimulating world does not mean you are defective. It means you are human, and your nervous system may be overloaded.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Let’s talk about what that overload actually looks like, because sometimes people expect stress to look dramatic. But often it shows up in very ordinary ways. The nervous system generally moves through two broad states: activation, which people often call fight-or-flight, and rest-and-recovery, which is associated with parasympathetic regulation. In a healthier rhythm, we move between them. Stress happens... then the body settles.

Kai Mercer

That “then the body settles” part? Kind of the whole issue now. A lot of people never really get there. They finish one stressful thing and go straight into the next tab, next alert, next obligation, next piece of bad news.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Exactly. The stress response was never meant to stay on all the time. But modern life can keep people in a near-constant state of activation. And when that happens long enough, the signs can be easy to misread. It may look like anxiety. Irritability. Snapping at people you love and then feeling terrible. It may look like emotional shutdown, where you just feel flat or numb. It can look like brain fog, trouble concentrating, forgetting simple things, or feeling overwhelmed by very small tasks.

Kai Mercer

Like when answering one email feels weirdly impossible, and then you judge yourself for struggling with one email, which turns one email into a whole existential crisis. [laughs softly] Not that I’ve ever done that.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

[warmly] I think many listeners will relate to that. When your system is overloaded, small demands can feel disproportionately hard. Not because you’re lazy. Not because you’re weak. Because your internal resources are depleted.

Kai Mercer

And this is where people use that phrase, “I’m too sensitive.” Which, honestly, I wish we could retire a little.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

I do too. Sensitivity is not a flaw. It can reflect a nervous system that notices and processes information deeply. Research on sensory processing sensitivity suggests that some individuals have stronger emotional responses and greater awareness of environmental stimuli. In a chaotic, loud, pressured environment, that can feel like a burden. You absorb a lot. You notice a lot. You feel a lot.

Kai Mercer

But in the right environment, that same sensitivity can become empathy, intuition, creativity, emotional intelligence. It’s not the enemy. It just needs support.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Yes. Context matters so much. A deeply responsive nervous system in a chronically overwhelming environment may feel raw and exhausted. But that same system in a safe, supportive environment can be incredibly perceptive and connected.

Kai Mercer

So if someone’s been calling themselves dramatic, difficult, too emotional, all that stuff... maybe the better question is, “What environment has my system been trying to survive?”

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Beautifully said. And maybe also, “Have I had enough recovery?” Because healing isn’t only about insight. It’s also about giving the body and mind a chance to come out of constant activation.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

I want to close with a piece that affects so many people quietly: comparison and nonstop stimulation. Social media, in particular, can create this steady drip of self-doubt. You see someone’s promotion, engagement, new home, perfect vacation, smiling family photo... and your brain starts measuring. Not because you’re shallow, but because human beings naturally compare.

Kai Mercer

Yeah, and you’re usually comparing your real life to somebody else’s highlight reel, which is just... not a fair fight.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

It really isn’t. And over time, that comparison can erode self-worth. Instead of noticing your own progress, you start feeling behind. Add constant screen time and digital stimulation, which some research has linked with lower psychological well-being in adolescents, and it makes sense that many people feel emotionally frayed.

Kai Mercer

Then emotional exhaustion shows up, and a lot of us respond by saying, “Cool, I should probably just push harder.” Which is such a modern-person reflex.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

It is. But exhaustion is not a moral failure. It is information. It is your nervous system saying, “I’ve been carrying too much for too long.” That signal deserves attention, not punishment.

Kai Mercer

So if somebody’s listening and they’re right on that edge, what are a few grounded things they can do today? Not a whole life overhaul. Just, like, first steps.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Start small. Notice what increases your activation and what helps you settle. That might mean taking a short break from notifications, stepping outside for a few minutes, reducing extra stimulation where you can, or reaching out to one safe person instead of isolating. It may mean honoring rest before you’ve “earned” it. It may mean naming what you feel instead of criticizing yourself for feeling it.

Kai Mercer

I love that. Tiny acts of support instead of giant acts of self-improvement.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Yes. Also, meaningful connection matters. The Surgeon General’s advisory on loneliness reminds us that isolation has a real impact. Humans regulate in relationship. We need support, not just productivity strategies.

Kai Mercer

That’s so real. Sometimes the most regulating thing is not a hack. It’s a person. A calm conversation. Somebody saying, “Hey, you make sense.”

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Absolutely. So here’s the reframe I want to leave with you. Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” try asking, “What has my nervous system been carrying?” [softly] That question creates room for compassion. It shifts us away from blame and toward understanding. And from that place, healing becomes more possible.

Kai Mercer

And honestly, that question hits different. It feels less like a verdict and more like an opening.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

That’s my hope. You are not broken. You are human. And if your nervous system has been overloaded, it may simply need care, support, reduced stimulation, and space to recover. Thank you for being here with us today.

Kai Mercer

Yeah, thanks for hanging with us. Take a breath, be a little gentler with yourself, and we’ll meet you back here next time.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Until then, take good care. Bye, Kai.

Kai Mercer

Bye, Julie.