Same Human, Different Generation: Mental Health at Work

Kai Mercer

Hey everybody, welcome in. Kai here with Dr. Julie Sorenson, and today we’re talking about something you can almost feel the second you walk into a lot of workplaces right now. That weird tension. The side comments. The quiet burnout. The whole, “Why are they like this?” vibe.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Yes, absolutely. And I think a lot of people name it as a generational problem first. They’ll say, “They don’t work like we used to,” or “They’re too sensitive,” or “They expect too much.” But underneath those statements, what I hear clinically is stress, overwhelm, and disconnection.

Kai Mercer

Right. It’s like we slap a generation label on it because that feels tidy. But the actual thing happening is messier and way more human.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Exactly. This is not just about age groups clashing. It’s really mental health showing up in real time at work. People bring anxiety with them. They bring pressure to perform, fear of failure, old experiences with authority, stress from home, grief, exhaustion. Work does not happen outside of mental health.

Kai Mercer

And that part is so important. Because I think some workplaces still act like you should walk in, clock on, and become a spreadsheet with legs. Like, no feelings, no history, no nervous system, just productivity.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Yes, and unfortunately that’s not how humans work. If expectations are unclear, if feedback feels personal, if people feel judged or dismissed, they react. Not because they’re difficult. Because their nervous system is trying to protect them.

Kai Mercer

That line hits. Because once you see it that way, the whole room changes. The person going quiet in meetings may not be lazy or disengaged. They may be overwhelmed. The person speaking up fast may not be “too much.” They may be trying to get clarity before their stress goes through the roof.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Yes. And generations often express the same core needs in different ways. One person may internalize stress and stay silent. Another may address things directly and get labeled as difficult. One avoids conflict. Another moves toward it quickly. Neither response is automatically wrong.

Kai Mercer

They’re coping styles.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

They are. Shaped by different environments, different norms, different expectations. But the needs underneath are strikingly similar. People want to feel respected. Safe enough to speak up. Like they matter. Like they’re not going to be judged for asking a question or making a mistake.

Kai Mercer

So when folks say, “This generation is the problem,” it’s usually missing the point. The point is the environment may be bringing out threat responses in different flavors.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

That’s a great way to say it. And when those threat responses pile up day after day, what we call generational tension can actually be burnout, guardedness, and emotional exhaustion.

Kai Mercer

Yeah. And burnout isn’t always dramatic. Sometimes it looks like sarcasm in a meeting. Sometimes it looks like someone doing the bare minimum because they’ve stopped believing it’s safe to care. Sometimes it’s just... flatness.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Mm-hmm. Or irritability. Or withdrawal. And I think that’s why this conversation matters so much. If leaders and teams only look at behavior on the surface, they miss what is driving it.

Kai Mercer

Which is how you end up with everybody misreading everybody. One person thinks, “They don’t respect me.” The other person thinks, “I can’t win here.” And now we’ve got a whole office full of people having separate stress responses in business casual.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

That is very accurate. And also why compassion and clarity matter so much. If we start from the assumption that people are human first, not stereotypes first, we can respond differently.

Kai Mercer

That’s the setup right there. Maybe the workplace isn’t dealing with a generation problem nearly as much as it’s dealing with unsupported humans trying to function under pressure.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

And that brings us to communication, because communication is not just a professional skill. It is a mental health tool. The way we speak to people at work can either regulate them or dysregulate them.

Kai Mercer

I want that on a sticky note. Communication either regulates people or dysregulates them. That’s clean.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

It’s true. Think about dysregulating communication: vague expectations, harsh tone, public criticism, dismissive responses, silence when feedback is needed. Those things create anxiety, self-doubt, shutdown, or defensiveness.

Kai Mercer

Yeah, because your body reads that as threat. Even if the words are technically about a task, your system can hear, “You’re failing,” or, “You’re not safe here.”

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Exactly. On the other hand, regulating communication sounds like clear expectations, a calm tone, direct but respectful feedback, room for questions, consistency. That creates trust and confidence. It helps people stay engaged.

Kai Mercer

And this is where I think a lot of leaders accidentally make things worse while believing they’re being efficient. They ask, “Why didn’t you do this?” which, whew, instantly puts somebody on defense.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Yes. A much more connecting question is, “Help me understand what got in the way.” That simple shift lowers threat. It opens curiosity instead of blame.

Kai Mercer

It also sounds like you still expect accountability, but you’re not coming in swinging. You’re saying, “Walk me through it.” That’s very different from, “Explain yourself.”

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Exactly. It invites problem-solving. And that matters because so much workplace conflict is really unprocessed stress colliding. It’s often not about the surface issue. It’s about feeling disrespected, dismissed, or overwhelmed.

Kai Mercer

And then it leaks sideways. Little irritation. Withdrawal. Passive-aggressive email punctuation. The period that feels aggressive somehow. You know the one.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Exactly. It invites problem-solving. And that matters because so much workplace conflict is really unprocessed stress colliding. It’s often not about the surface issue. It’s about feeling disrespected, dismissed, or overwhelmed.

Kai Mercer

That’s a grown-up sentence. It slows the whole thing down. Because conflict gets ugly fast when both people feel unseen.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Yes, and listening is one of the fastest ways to reduce that stress. People do not burn out only from workload. They also burn out from not feeling heard, from feeling misunderstood, from feeling like they do not matter.

Kai Mercer

That’s real. I’ve seen people handle hard jobs when they felt supported. And I’ve seen people unravel in decent jobs because every interaction felt invalidating.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Right. A simple listening practice can help: “What I’m hearing is...” and then reflect back what you understood. Then ask, “Did I get that right?” And follow with, “That makes sense.” You’re not automatically agreeing. You’re communicating that the person matters enough to understand.

Kai Mercer

That’s such a powerful distinction. Validation is not the same thing as endorsement. You’re not saying, “You’re right about everything.” You’re saying, “I’m actually with you enough to understand what this feels like.”

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Exactly. And that links directly to psychological safety, which is really the foundation so many workplaces are missing. Psychological safety means I can speak up here without being shut down, judged, or punished.

Kai Mercer

Without it, people stop sharing ideas. Stop asking questions. Stop being honest. Then leadership goes, “Why is nobody engaged?” And it’s like... because silence became the safest strategy.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Yes. Research continues to show psychological safety is strongly tied to team performance and wellbeing. When people feel emotionally safe, they think more clearly and collaborate more effectively.

Kai Mercer

So if a team wants better trust, better engagement, better actual work, the answer may not be another productivity hack. It might be: speak clearly, listen well, don’t humiliate people, and make it safe to ask a question.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

That is beautifully said.

Kai Mercer

So let’s land this plane where it matters. If the old question is, “What’s wrong with them?” the better question is, “What might they be feeling, and what do they need right now?”

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Yes. That one shift can change everything. It moves us from frustration to understanding, from reaction to leadership, from conflict to connection.

Kai Mercer

And honestly, it’s more useful. “What’s wrong with them?” gives you attitude. “What do they need?” gives you options.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

It does. Because when you remove the labels, what’s left is humanity. Across generations, people want to feel safe, respected, understood, and valued. They want to know they matter.

Kai Mercer

The packaging may differ. One person wants direct feedback. Another wants a little more context. One person speaks up immediately. Another needs time. But the needs underneath? Pretty universal.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Exactly. And I think that is so important in workplaces right now. We do not build strong teams by eliminating differences. We build them by creating environments where people can regulate, communicate, repair, and trust.

Kai Mercer

That word repair is huge. Because even healthy teams mess up. A tone lands badly. A deadline gets fuzzy. Somebody feels dismissed. The goal is not perfection. The goal is that the environment can handle honesty without punishing it.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Yes, beautifully put. Better environments create better outcomes. When people feel emotionally safe and understood, they communicate more effectively, collaborate more easily, and perform at a higher level.

Kai Mercer

So maybe we don’t need better employees nearly as much as we need better conditions for humans to do good work.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

I would agree with that. And it’s worth reflecting on a few questions: Where are people reacting instead of being supported? Where is communication creating stress instead of clarity? Where could listening change someone’s entire experience at work?

Kai Mercer

Those are big questions. And also very practical ones. Because this isn’t abstract. It’s in the meeting you run tomorrow. It’s in how you answer an email. It’s in whether someone feels safe enough to say, “I’m confused,” before a small issue becomes a giant one.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Exactly. Mental health is not separate from performance. It shapes performance. If we ignore that, we keep misreading people. If we honor it, teams get stronger.

Kai Mercer

Same human, different generation.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Yes. Same human needs.

Kai Mercer

And I think that’s a good place to leave it. Dr. Julie, this was grounding in the best way.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Thank you, Kai. I always appreciate these conversations with you.

Kai Mercer

Likewise. Alright, take care of yourselves and each other. Bye, Julie.

Dr. Julie Sorenson

Bye, Kai.